August 30, 2007

I am still trying to figure out how to blog. This won't be too long, today. We are all still struggling with Paul's newest illness and being in Bath Manor. If they can straighten out his days and nights so that he will be able to sleep I think he will make a lot of progress. I hope so much he can come home again and get better. He has to get better to come home, but when he is home he makes the most progress, I think. We just have to get him well enough to move forward.

Emotionally this has been more exhausting for me than even Edwin Shaw. Do I get worn down? Is it something comulative? Is it shock? Do I realize more where this is heading and it terrifies me? All of the above. But we'll adjust, I guess.

Kristi, trying hard not to be so negative.

Letting Go and Letting God................

I am trying to begin a blog again because it seems that too much gets lost these difficult days. Paul is in the hospital again, luckily for "only" low hemoglobin, 5.7, which has improved very much with six blood transfusions. However, while getting medicines which are bad for him and lying in bed for a week and a day, he has become much weakened. The speech therapists are working with him to help him regain his ability to swallow. At the moment he has a feeding peg in his stomach and will probably go to a rehab nursing home from Akron City Hospital. And then, home again and regaining strength to go about our life.....I hope he will be home and well enough to be at Emily's when her baby is born. But I don't know about this at all.....Poor Paul. Today is his birthday and he is in the hospital.

I named this blog 200 years in Ohio because part of my family has been here since about 1800 and I love Ohio very much. But so do lots of people who only arrived recently, as for instance, Paul who came with his family in 1957 after the Hungarian Revolution.

I gave the url the name of ThicketHouse.com because this was a small "business" which Paul and I set up once, mostly so he could buy the equipment he wanted to frame pictures from Hungary. But we never did any real business. The name comes from Sovenyhaza, his mother's native village near Gyor in Hungary. It really means more Hedge House than Thicket House, but I liked Thicket House better for what were probably some silly romantic ideas of my own.

I am doing pretty well, which is important for me and for Pali. My kids give a lot of support. I saw my therapist Alan Kurzweil last week and he made me feel stronger and got me to go back to the Natatorium to do the exercise in the water. It was sad and strange to be there without Paul. Reaching out for help is very important and reaching out to God for help is most important of all. I have returned to reading random Bible readings every morning and today was Jesus on the road to Emmaus saying, "Peace be with you."

Penny and Joe had me over for dinner on Thursday night and this was wonderful and relaxing and strenghthening.

Don't think I can write anything more at the moment.